Here’s what I consider to be a super helpful way to start getting back on your feet, in case you do relapse on your drug — whether that relapse happens after three years of sobriety, three decades, or three days.

Repeat after me: “It’s okay. I’m okay. And I have faith that my recovery is going to be okay.”

Yet I know that affirming yourself with Unconditional Love might seem impossible after a relapse. For those of us who need and want sobriety more than anything in the world, it’s devastating to let ourselves down, and to disappoint those who are counting on us to stay sober, too. That’s why using your drug again after a period of sobriety, regardless of how long you’ve been sober, tends to trigger an emotional reflex of intense shame and regret.

I understand that self-flagellation might seem like the only logical response to the gut punch that is relapse. After all, you don’t want to let yourself off the hook. Beating yourself up is meant to be a self-inflicted consequence to ensure you don’t do it again. In theory, I suppose this makes sense. In practice, however, shaming yourself is no way to facilitate positive change. So I’m still going to urge you to act as if you believe in Unconditional Love, even if you don’t intellectually buy it, just yet.

Repeat after me: "It’s okay. I’m okay. And I have faith that my recovery is going to be okay.”

Excerpt From The Addict’s Guide to Recovery by Emily Sussman Illustrated by J.E. Larson

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